My Friend's Son: Question 1 - Perception On

In a blog a few weeks ago, I shared a series of questions posed to me while I was working with “My Friend’s Son”. 

In sharing these questions – and recounting this meaningful and memorable experience - my hope was for us all to learn from this young man’s intentional approach, so we can improve our own self-awareness, communication, and overall social confidence. 

At the end of the blog, I mentioned I’d offer some of the exercises, take-aways, and practical applications I suggested to “my friend’s son”, to address these important and valid questions and concerns. 

In the spirit of accountability, and from encouragement and feedback from many of you, below is the exercise, take-away, and practical application I prescribed for that first question. My goal is to follow this framework on a weekly basis for the next 8 weeks and share the prescription I offered for each of the subsequent questions. For now, here’s to getting our… Perception On!

Question #1: How can I better influence how I am perceived by others?

Exercise: “Perception Model”. 

Reconciling the way in which you perceive yourself… with how others perceive you… and how you want to be perceived is an important aspect of personal growth. It can also be a bit of a 3-way mirror where self-awareness, empathy, and effective communication all play vital roles. Understanding these different perspectives can lead to a deeper understanding of oneself and stronger connections with others.

For the purposes of this exercise, take a few moments to journal out some answers to the following prompts:  

1. How I perceive myself. 

Sell-perception can be tricky and can also be defined as that inner monologue that shapes who you are, informs where you may have some giftings, and can indicate where you need to get better. However, our self-perception isn't always aligned with reality. Often, we may have a lack of awareness that can distort our view of ourselves. Taking time for self-reflection and seeking feedback from trusted sources can help us gain a more accurate understanding of who we are.

2. How I am currently being perceived.

How others perceive us plays a significant role in our personal and professional relationships. People form impressions based on various factors such as our behavior, follow-through, and communication style – both verbal and non-verbal. Think of it like your personal brand being crafted by every interaction you have. While we can't control how others perceive us entirely, we can strive to be authentic and consistent in our words and actions, thereby leaving a more positive impression on others. 

3. How I want to be perceived.

How we want to be perceived by others is often a reflection of our goals, beliefs, and values. This involves aligning our actions with our intentions and actively working towards being perceived in a way that reflects our best selves. Whether your goal is to be more approachable, dependable, or confident, it's important to have clarity in your purpose and consciously align your behavior to embody that ideal self.

Ultimately, reconciling and having better alignment with these different perspectives involves living in our strengths, while also being open to growth and feedback. By doing so, we can improve our self-confidence, cultivate healthier relationships, and more authentically connect with others. 

Take-away: Perception Can Be Reality.

Understanding how others perceive you is crucial. Even if you excel as a leader on paper, if your team or others don't see you that way, it can diminish your overall impact. Remember, your ability to connect and engage with others can be just as vital as your proficiency in job-related skills.

Practical Application: This week, choose three different people to give you feedback on how they perceive you. An ideal “feedback advisory board” could be someone close to you like a trusted family member or friend, a work colleague, and a peer that you engage with outside of work. When finished, take time to digest the feedback received, and set a plan to address any areas of growth. 

With all that said, and in the spirit of embracing mystery and intrigue (while avoiding ambiguity, which can lead to frustration), the question we’ll be addressing next week is…

What are the best methods I can use to improve my ability as a storyteller?

Stay tuned as we spend these next few weeks getting our… Answers On!