From the Backseat

My kids are at that age now where they’re beginning to have more commitments, activities, and events on their schedule, which means there are more pick-ups and drop-offs on my wife and my schedule. In this new season of our lives, we’ve entered that phase where we’re doing a ton of moving, shuttling, and driving from one place to the next, all with the goal of getting our kids where they need to be in a safe and timely manner. 

On these drives, I’ve come to realize, if I’m fully focused, slightly subtle, and incredibly intentional, there’s some prime time along this journey for some solid communication, silly conversation, and most importantly, for some simple connection.  

When we’ve gotten to that place and made that connection - which is certainly not on every trip we take - it’s been when I’ve empowered my daughters, allowed for the time, and given them the space to simply ask me questions. And these questions all come honestly, inquisitively, and spontaneously… from the back seat.

Even if it’s just a quick drive from here to there, it’s amazing what can be asked and answered in that short window. Some of the more recent, memorable, and meaningful questions I’ve received from these back seat inquisitors during our spontaneous, drive-by Q&As include…

Dad, what was your first car?

Dad, who was your first crush?

Dad, who taught you how to drive?

Dad, who was the Taylor Swift of your time?

Dad, who was your favorite teacher in school?

Dad, how old were you when you got your first phone?

Dad, was math this complicated when you were a kid?

Dad, what were you wearing when you and Mom first met?

Dad, what was the worst thing you did when you were a kid?

Dad, did you and your brother fight when you were growing up?

These exchanges have helped me change my mindset from “I have to drive them” to “I get to drive them.” Mind you, we still have our bumpy roads and back seat squabbles, but overall, the journey is so much more meaningful and memorable when we take this approach. 

And with this shift, I’m reminded that this new season will go by quickly, and there will be a time when they don’t need Dad to get them from place to place, so I might as well take advantage of these trips before they don’t need me as much in that front seat.

As leaders, teachers, coaches, presenters, as we drive ourselves and others from place to place, let’s do our best to get there in a safe and timely manner. Let’s treat our passengers with the respect and care they need and deserve. And along the way, let’s make sure we empower them from the driver’s seat, from the passenger seat, and most importantly - when they still need us to help them get there - let’s give them the time and space to ask good and honest questions… from the back seat.

Drive On. Back Seat On. Game On.