Bridging the Gap

A message from Ben...

As we’ve shared recently in our blogs and through social media posts, we have a wall of images in our office that represent our teammates’ “Coins”. This display has become a great reminder for all of us of the depth of our full-time staff and our team of Expert Facilitators, and what we all value.   

In this week’s Blog, our colleague and dear friend, Ben Thys, gives us a glimpse into his values, and shares some of the currency beneath one of the images he chose.  

As an actor, Ben has worked in theater, television, and large-scale productions including most recently, the touring production of Harry Potter and the Cursed Child. Ben studied Mandarin Chinese, Philosophy, and world religions at the University of London, and he has performed in numerous plays on and off-Broadway, including Oslo (Tony winner for best play, Lincoln Center). He has also appeared in over 30 films and TV shows on major networks including NBC, ABC, HBO & Comedy Central. 

As one of our most seasoned Game On Expert Facilitators, we’re honored to have Ben on our team and we’re so grateful for his experience, creativity, and care he brings into every space he enters.  

- Steve Shenaum  

When I first met Paul, I couldn’t stand him. 

It was my first year of college in London, and I found him obnoxious, rude, and, because every list deserves three adjectives, arrogant. 

So, I wasn’t exactly thrilled when I found out Paul was going to share an apartment with a friend in Beijing during our year abroad studying Mandarin. I assumed I’d have to spend time with him, and I wasn’t thrilled. 

But then something unexpected happened. We started talking about films. A little at first, and then a lot. It turned out his love of cinema was as intense as mine. 

Having grown up in the early ‘90s, we shared many of the same cultural references, despite the fact that I grew up in Belgium and he grew up in England. 

You get the idea. We talked and we laughed. And if this sounds like the beginning of a love story, it’s because it is one of the most sacred and enduring friendships of my life. 

We simply needed a bridge. We needed some common ground where I could see him as a human being instead of judging him by the way he related to the world. 

We needed a Coin. 

It turned out there was a very good reason Paul behaved the way he did. He’d been bullied relentlessly as a child and endured constant racial slurs. What I had mistaken for arrogance was, in many ways, armor. 

Coins are simple, and that’s precisely what makes them so powerful. There’s no mysterious technique and no pricey subscription. A shared interest brings people onto common ground. From there, rapport becomes possible. You stop seeing a stereotype or a first impression, and you start seeing a person. 

When I think back to that friendship, I don’t remember being “won over.” I remember finding a bridge. The Coin wasn’t really films. Films were simply the path that led us to one another. 

That’s what I love about the Wall of Coins. They’re not conversation starters for the sake of conversation. They’re invitations to replace assumptions with curiosity. 

Every person has a story that explains them far better than our first impression ever could. Sometimes all it takes is one meaningful Coin to find it.